[Mark Mitchell]

This was sent to me & I thought I should share it!!


"PEDESTRIAN CROSSING" PLANNED FOR SILVERSTONE


The owners of the Silverstone circuit have announced that the track is to be provided with a pelican crossing in response to "mounting concerns" over road safety.



Bloody Hell: Slow Down!


The decision comes after an incident last weekend when a pedestrian was nearly knocked down while attempting to cross the road. The man, who gave his name as Derek Gadd, told the Brains Trust that "there I was, having a nice leisurely walk after lunch, when suddenly these lunatics appeared from nowhere in their flashy cars and almost ran me over. Though I hate to cast aspersions, I suspect they were all doing well over thirty miles per hour." He continued, now rubbing his forehead perplexedly that, "we've had cameras here for years but these people don't seem to care about getting caught. Something has got to be done soon before someone gets seriously hurt."

"70,000 or so passers-by"
Police have appealed for further information about the incident, which occurred on Hangar Straight Avenue on Sunday afternoon. They have still not tracked down the vehicles involved but are currently interviewing around 70,000 or so passers-by. Over the past few years, the authorities have considered a number of ways to slow down motorists in the area, including speed bumps, cobbles and even a roundabout. During one survey last year it was noted that all of the cars at rush hour were carrying only one occupant, prompting calls for the introduction of congestion charging. The proposal for the new crossing has been welcomed by Dr Hugo Z Hackenbush, a prominent road safety campaigner, "I've been studying the traffic here for some time and I'm particularly concerned about the speeds I've been seeing. The worst culprits seem to be these foreign drivers: some of them treat it like they're at bloody Brands Hatch or something."

"doesn't go anywhere"
However, critics of the plan say that the new measures do not go far enough. Bernie Ecclestone commented, "This talk of pelican lights is too little too late. Silverstone just doesn't go anywhere and I think it is high time the place was totally pedestrianised." Mr Ecclestone has also started a petition for a by-pass, and is quietly confident that all traffic will eventually be re-routed to another area, such as Istanbul or hopefully Moscow.