Spin Off chitchat

[henk4]

Originally Posted by Racer 35

No ignorance on your part Simon, just an obscure profession on mine

'Lean' was the word coined by western manufacturing experts to describe the highly efficient manufacturing methods employed by Japanese companies, or more particularly, by Toyota. Now, those methods, philosophies and management techniques are being applied to everything from healthcare to the military.

In connection with consultants, the word "lean" is always to be combined with "mean"

[Peter Mallett]

Oy, I resemble that remark.

[zefarelly]

as far as most modern manufacturing methods go 'Lean' means "(bareley) fit for purpose"

quality doesn't come into it, letalone longevity

45 year old Ford blocks will outlast the modern guts bolted to them even after 40 years normal service with ford guts

as for lean drivers, the engines get more punishment now than then, we're all FLF's compared to 40 years ago!

[Racer 35]

Ouch!
Methinks I should have kept myself to myself, at least regarding my job

Part of me wants to respond with a strong defence of lean, quoting myriad examples of it’s benefits, however, a larger part of me tells me this would be pointless.

However… being a consultant means it’s open season 24/7/365, so fire way.
It also means that I can race cars, so it’s a price I’m more than happy to pay, ‘cause racing’s what this forum is all about, eh?

[Peter Mallett]

S'ok. Zef's our pet luddite.

[275 GTB-4]

Originally Posted by Racer 35

Ouch!
Methinks I should have kept myself to myself, at least regarding my job

Part of me wants to respond with a strong defence of lean, quoting myriad examples of it’s benefits, however, a larger part of me tells me this would be pointless.

However… being a consultant means it’s open season 24/7/365, so fire way.
It also means that I can race cars, so it’s a price I’m more than happy to pay, ‘cause racing’s what this forum is all about, eh?

No...keep on racing, buying #35 cars and posting..but please don't tell us you are only 35 as well

[henk4]

Originally Posted by Racer 35

However… being a consultant means it’s open season 24/7/365, so fire way. [/SIZE][/FONT]

don't worry, you are not alone, on one of my business cards I use the words: Transport Consultant...(it is actually in my profile here too....)

[terence]

One of the problems with consultants is they do tend to be expernsive.

[henk4]

Originally Posted by terence bower

One of the problems with consultants is they do tend to be expernsive.

but can be sacked any minute.....and as the saying goes, if you pay peanuts, you'll attract monkeys...

[terence]

Even if they are self employed?

[henk4]

Originally Posted by terence bower

Even if they are self employed?

self employed monkeys?

[terence]

CONSULTANTS!

[johngee]

Consultants charge you a large fee......to tell you what you already know!

[henk4]

Originally Posted by johngee

Consultants charge you a large fee......to tell you what you already know!

what you want see confirmed from an "independent" source. These type of consultants are usually referred to as "alibi" consultants....

[terence]

Originally Posted by johngee

Consultants charge you a large fee......to tell you what you already know!

BUT it's best to have a second opinion. Right,that'll be £50.00 please.

[johngee]

You're not a proper consultant - a) you're decimal point needs at least one space to the right and b) it's ALWAYS + expenses!

[terence]

[quote=terence bower]BUT it's best to have a second opinion. Right,that'll be £500.00 + Retyping +Expensives {ERROR INCLUDED}
I always give a discount to friends though John,its usually those b********s that rip me off.L.O.L

[henk4]

Originally Posted by terence bower

I always give a discount to friends though John,its usually those b********s that rip me off.L.O.L

A successful consultant therefore has very few friends....

[terence]

Oh,thats what it is.

[henk4]

Originally Posted by terence bower

Oh,thats what it is.

my bank accountnumber is ABN.....

[John Turner]

This has become so way off topic, I've moved this lot to a new thread. Sorry, Pieter, no offence to you as 'owner' of this thread; your post was just a convenient cut off point. Of course, I'm not sure how much further you all want to go with this 'consultancy' discussion, but with the thread title, you can now go off on another direction, as you're bound to anyway, without going off topic!

[zefarelly]

Originally Posted by johngee

Consultants charge you a large fee......to tell you what you already know!

or charge both parties for complicating what could have been a simple one to one consultation

[johngee]

Originally Posted by zefarelly

or charge both parties for complicating what could have been a simple one to one consultation

I thought it was lawyers who did that!

[terence]

Thats me off the hook then.

[Racer 35]

Not sure if this is a true story.........
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone , then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not." answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.
Now give me back my dog!!"