Pork Pies - a theory!

[Dave Brand]

For some time now I've had a theory that the 'pork pie effect' is a subtle phenomenon, & that to get the full effect a stealthy approach is necessary - openly announcing your intentions to all & sundry & then blatantly eating a pork pie appears to me to cancel out the effect.

Last Saturday fellow ten-tenther Steve and Gruff bemoaned our lack of incidents & stated his intention to eat a pork pie in an attempt to rectify the situation. I explained my theory to him, so he decided to save his pork pie for later......within five minutes we had our only incident of the day!

So, was it a coincidence, or does it tend to prove my theory? I'm not putting forward one incidence as positive proof, but it's food for thought! (Pun intended!)

[gwar]

I,ve been told that pork pies dont work on bikes..... so we try,ed last weekend at brands hatch at BSBK, on sat we ate a couple nothing not even a sniff, come sunday no pork pies left,. three in on the first race.
So this could be true

[robert77]

The same can be said for sausage rolls Dave. Afterall, they are much the same kinda thing, pork meat wrapped in pastry.
I have myself had experience of the 'pork pie effect'.
It also can happen with coffee. It has been known for me to pour a thermos mug of coffee, and just as I replace the lid, "screech, thud!!!"
Seems that these things have some kinda magnetic effect on cars and their drivers.

[devon kev]

And portaloo's

[Joyce George]

Originally Posted by devon kev

And portaloo's

Too true!!! Just ask Andrew Palmer what happened EVERY time I tried to use the facilities at Curborough in May!!!

[aland]

thanks guys as a newbie this is the kind of thing is the advice i need, I know from working in call centres we have the sweet effect, quiet for 10 minutes, pop sweet in mouth and beep a call comes through

also me being veggie and not eating meat may I be immune from the pork pie effect as surely a cheese butty or tub of cold pasta cant have the same magnetic effect

[Andrew Palmer]

Originally Posted by joyceswan

Too true!!! Just ask Andrew Palmer what happened EVERY time I tried to use the facilities at Curborough in May!!!

I will not comment on the use of facilties (such a genlteman).

But I do know that at Curborough in October cup's of coffee got the rescue unit to do some work (Twice).

[Andrew Palmer]

As for pork pie's they are just like Jeff Bloxsham.

Just misunderstood

Some times they work and sometimes they don't. The only sure way I have found is Joyce Swan observing.

[rescue dude]

I have notified Arthur C. Clarke of this phenomenon.
I agree with Moxey that the strange magnetic power of pork and pastry seem to work with equal aplomb.

I will say only this.
BEWARE those people with herbal tea for it is those people who act like magnets to such events.


TIS WITCHCRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sheila M]

Originally Posted by gwar

I,ve been told that pork pies dont work on bikes..... so we try,ed last weekend at brands hatch at BSBK, on sat we ate a couple nothing not even a sniff, come sunday no pork pies left,. three in on the first race.
So this could be true

Ah but they do! A couple of years ago I went to a superbike meeting at Donington (as a speccy). As Steve was on the Rescue Unit I was on my own so decided to have a wander round and spectate from different parts of the track. I started opposite the pits and went round the infield. By the time I got to Coppice I was a bit peckish so decided to start on the pork pie.

I'd barely got the first mouthful down before three bikes had a "bit of a coming together", resulting in one bike running over a rider. Immediate red flag!

[KayBee]

I didn't believe the donut theory until the August 750 meeting at Mallory when I announced to the team that 'I'd eaten some at dinnertime' cue loads of groans and a post knee deep in Formula Vees.........................................

[blue nose]

Originally Posted by Dave Brand

Last Saturday fellow ten-tenther Steve and Gruff bemoaned our lack of incidents & stated his intention to eat a pork pie in an attempt to rectify the situation. I explained my theory to him, so he decided to save his pork pie for later......within five minutes we had our only incident of the day!

Is incident code for a good crash Dave

[numbersix]

Goodwood Revival. Lavant Straight. Nothing all morning. Missus gives me dinky pork pie at lunch time. First and last incident, 2mins past lunch.
'tis a sign, I tell 'ee.

[Steve and Gruff]

Originally Posted by Dave Brand

Last Saturday fellow ten-tenther Steve and Gruff bemoaned our lack of incidents & stated his intention to eat a pork pie in an attempt to rectify the situation. I explained my theory to him, so he decided to save his pork pie for later......within five minutes we had our only incident of the day!

Hi Dave, You were spot on with the Pie advice. The question is would the Aston have still joined us if I had eaten it when I intended, instead of popping it into the right hand coat pocket for later?

To try to rectify this, I propose to conduct further investigations next season in the when to eat or not to eat. I appreciate that quite a few pies will need to be consumed before an accurate trend becomes conclusive, hoewever, I feel this is worth the effort in the interest of science.

Cheers, Steve

[Woolley]

Doctors can eat them without effect, even pies with an egg in them. I've also tested eating one in the Doctor's car with no result, suggesting that there is some sort of immunity forcefield around the medical staff.

[Hepatic]

not just food and drink either, several times this year whilst putting on or taking off waterproofs cars have been known to drop themselves at my feet. I find pork and pickle pies to be most potent tho - i'm afraid they account for 2 of the 3 stoppages in the last amoc race @ oulton

[whatapalaver]

I must cast doubt on the sausage roll theory. As chance would have it I was carrying them on 50% of the meeting I attended, and they had no noticable effect. I do appear to be a 'magnet off' so may be the power of the sausage roll can't overcome that. Of course there could be a brand issue - cheapo Tesco's sausage rolls could contain so little meat the power is lost.

If that is the case should organic pork pies be band from the pit lane?

[ascarmarshal]

Originally Posted by Andrew Palmer

As for pork pie's they are just like Jeff Bloxsham.

Jeff Bloxham and Prok pies. They have the same effect.

[rescue dude]

Originally Posted by Hepatic

not just food and drink either, several times this year whilst putting on or taking off waterproofs cars have been known to drop themselves at my feet. I find pork and pickle pies to be most potent tho - i'm afraid they account for 2 of the 3 stoppages in the last amoc race @ oulton

PORK AND PICKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats just asking for trouble.

You should know by now that sods law states that if you take the waterproofs off it will rain the moment they are hanging up to dry.
Usually the moment you take them off you get an incident which you attend, THEN it rains and there you are trackside sans waterproofs.

This has happened to me more than once.

[Dave Brand]

Originally Posted by Steve and Gruff

Hi Dave, You were spot on with the Pie advice. The question is would the Aston have still joined us if I had eaten it when I intended, instead of popping it into the right hand coat pocket for later?

That's a good question, unfortunately not the sort of thing we can test experimentally.....

To try to rectify this, I propose to conduct further investigations next season in the when to eat or not to eat. I appreciate that quite a few pies will need to be consumed before an accurate trend becomes conclusive, hoewever, I feel this is worth the effort in the interest of science.

Exhaustive experiment will be necessary to prove or disprove this theory; we also need to know the most effective brand of pork pie, what size works best, etc., etc. Maybe we should apply for a research grant - if nothing else, we'd get free pork pies!

Just a thought - Mallory always seems to get more than its fair share of incidents; could this be caused by proximity to Melton Mowbray?

Originally Posted by blue nose

Is incident code for a good crash Dave

Is there such a thing as a good crash?

[Andrew Palmer]

A report appeared in a local newspaper in February that a pork pie factory was closing down due to lack of sales for four months. Then in March another report about the same factory going on to three shifts due to an increase in sales

Race season starts in early March and finishs in late November in these part's.

[Rob M]

Originally Posted by Hepatic

I find pork and pickle pies to be most potent tho - i'm afraid they account for 2 of the 3 stoppages in the last amoc race @ oulton

I wouldn't recomend Waitrose Pork and Pickle pies - nice to eat but diabolical magnetic properties!!!!!!!!!! Think I'll revert to Sainsbury's as my pie suppliers for next season, they always seem to work well.

Rob

[rumblefish]

Can we please be serious about this topic, guys?
I have given up eating pork pies at Oulton following a number of incidents over the years. I was chased through the gravel at Druids by an unruly gang of VW hooligans, one of which promptly caught fire (Adrenaline is brown and slippery!). I had just eaten a cheese topped pork and pickle pie (was it Pukka? - I don't know). I decided that this type of pie actually tried to induce severe personal injury. A little later in my career a rather pleasant melton mowbrey induced a badly twisted ankle when trying to remove an 18 stone driver from a Fiat Uno at Lodge. And a small plain mini pie induced Rob Huff to slam the barrier at Cascades, right in front of the box, causing the barrier to collapse, the wonderful tyre water to erupt, and Kenny Webb to emerge from the box like the creature from the black lagoon.
I now eat sausage rolls - one at 10am for practice, and one at 2pm for racing. No noticeable effects yet.
On the subject of the pie experiment, I think a range of pies should be used - pork, meat, meat and prater, cheese and onion, apple, blackcurrant.................. - all in the interests of science of course.
Need any volunteers for this?

[ascarmarshal]

Originally Posted by Dave Brand

Just a thought - Mallory always seems to get more than its fair share of incidents; could this be caused by proximity to Melton Mowbray?

Rockingham is closer to Melton Mowbray and you only need to look at SCSA meetings to see the effect

[rumblefish]

Following an earnest discussion with my wife, who is not involved in motorsport in any way, a conspiracy theory has been uncovered. Could it be that the short lunch breaks at some meetings are arranged by the organisers as way of preventing pork pie consumption? This must surely require further investigation at the highest level. And can I propose that my wife is appointed research fellowess in the forthcoming clinical trial?