NOT the latest news...

[Craig]

Vive le France

Jean Alesi has urged the Prost team to pick a second French driver, to emphasise the French nature of the team. That's the French Prost team with the major American sponsor, the Brazilian co-owner, the Italian engine, the English test team manager, and the Spanish managing director.

Strange brew

In a major re-branding exercise Jordan have launched a new drink called the EJ10. Industry insiders have been trying to work out why Eddie chose that particular name for his new 'high intensity' beverage. Apparently it's called EJ10 because 10 of them contain enough alcohol to get Eddie trollied - ie the equivalent of a pint and a half.

Ferrari are streets ahead

After Michael Schumacher got a street named after him, Jean Todt is set to follow suit with his own 'rue' . "It is quite appropriate that we should honour Jean in this way..." said a spokesman for French town Pierrefort, "...because it is a very short street."

Martin's not laughin'

Finally the proposed ITV commentary team of Nigel Mansell and Martin Brundle has run into problems early on. In a studio rehearsal Nigel corrected Martin. Martin then said Nigel was too fat to get into his last Grand Prix car.

Nigel then asked Martin how many Grands Prix he'd won in his career. Martin then said he didn't win because he didn't have the right car. Nigel added that Martin often didn't have an upright car.

Studio bosses are busy contacting Johnny Herbert's agent...

[Liz]

Case of handbags to the broadcast booth!

I think they should hire Nige. The bun fights in the broadcast booth would at least take our attention off the ennervating roundy-roundy going on down below ...