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Old 8 Jul 2020, 09:50 (Ref:3986682)   #2126
Mike Harte
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Mike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of FameMike Harte will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
When is a door not a door?

When it's a jar!
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:03 (Ref:3986687)   #2127
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crmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
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499.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:04 (Ref:3986688)   #2128
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Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
There's not enough room for the giraffe, the elephant is in the way.
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:12 (Ref:3986693)   #2129
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crmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
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There's not enough room for the giraffe, the elephant is in the way.
So you take the elephant out, put the giraffe in.


The whole jungle was invited to the lion's party, but someone didn't show up. Who is it?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:27 (Ref:3986695)   #2130
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What were we talking about before, can we go back to it?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:37 (Ref:3986697)   #2131
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My dog is a trained engineer, kick him in the nuts and watch him make bolt for the door.

My dog looks like a pair of underpants! Well he is a Boxer.
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:39 (Ref:3986698)   #2132
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What were we talking about before, can we go back to it?
Don't be a spoil sport Tim, it'll be black day when we cant share a joke.
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:43 (Ref:3986700)   #2133
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Don't be a spoil sport Tim, it'll be black day when we cant share a joke.

Yes, but when is someone going to start!
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 10:45 (Ref:3986702)   #2134
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What’s green and smells of bacon?

Kermit’s finger!
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 12:51 (Ref:3986726)   #2135
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Yes, but when is someone going to start!
You certainly haven't Mike
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:02 (Ref:3986741)   #2136
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How far back can you go?

What's big and red and throbs between a young man's legs?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:08 (Ref:3986743)   #2137
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What's big and red and throbs between a young man's legs?
A motor bike?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:08 (Ref:3986744)   #2138
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What's big and red and throbs between a young man's legs?

A red motorbike.
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:28 (Ref:3986745)   #2139
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crmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
Quote:
Originally Posted by crmalcolm View Post
So you take the elephant out, put the giraffe in.


The whole jungle was invited to the lion's party, but someone didn't show up. Who is it?
The giraffe. He's still in the refrigerator.

An old granny tries to cross a crocodile infested river. How does she cross safely?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:40 (Ref:3986748)   #2140
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Originally Posted by crmalcolm View Post
The giraffe. He's still in the refrigerator.

An old granny tries to cross a crocodile infested river. How does she cross safely?
She uses the bridge
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 14:53 (Ref:3986751)   #2141
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crmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
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She uses the bridge
Any way she likes. The crocodiles are at the lion's party.

While crossing though, she dies. Why?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 15:00 (Ref:3986757)   #2142
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She tries to walk on water?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 15:14 (Ref:3986766)   #2143
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crmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Famecrmalcolm will be entering the Motorsport Hall of Fame
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She tries to walk on water?
No - the brick hit her that you threw from the plane!
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 16:01 (Ref:3986778)   #2144
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Quote:
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What's big and red and throbs between a young man's legs?
I was told that it was a telegram deliverers motorbike.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 16:02 (Ref:3986779)   #2145
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Why did Sally fall off the swing?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 16:10 (Ref:3986783)   #2146
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GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!GORDON STREETER is going for a new world record!
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung !
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 16:18 (Ref:3986785)   #2147
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VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!VIVA GT is going for a new world record!
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Dung !
Correct, thanks to Spike Milligan for that one!
What's green and not very heavy?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 16:54 (Ref:3986797)   #2148
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A boagie?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 17:26 (Ref:3986805)   #2149
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morninggents should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Sorry to interupt the jokes. I am sorting through stuff prior to a house move and I have three framed paintings I want to give to a good home. They are by Tony Smith and are in frames 21" by 17". One is Mike Hawthorne in a Ferrari at Reims in 1958, one is John Surtees in a Ferrari at Monza in 1964 and one is Jackie Stewart in a Tyrrell at Nurburgring in 1973. I have nowhere for them in the new house and I don't want anything for them and will post them out for free. If anyone is interested in them please send me a pm. I hope this will not upset the mods.

P.S. Why did Sally fall off the swing?
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Old 8 Jul 2020, 18:01 (Ref:3986813)   #2150
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Because she had no arms!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Not Sally!
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