The Ten-Tenths Champ Car Fantasy Grid: Long Beach

[Liz]

TODAY'S STANDINGS

1. Crooks Motorsport 50
2. Team GoFaster 47
3. Mud Hut Racing 45
4. Team Aggression Maximisation 41
5. Seven Grain Motorsports 34
6. Dawn Racing 30
-- Team Wrex 30
7. Maple City Racing 28
-- Team BAM Sports 28
-- Team Bastrad Fast 28
8. EuroJADS Racing 23
-- Omar's Doomed Warriors 23
-- Team Domaza 23
9. MadCow Racing 19
-- PaulWontCrash 19
-- Senna12 Racing 19
-- Team Hustler Magazine 19
10. Crusta Racing 18
-- EMS Racing 18
-- Team Vince 18
11. ILP Racing 17
-- Revcounter Racing 17
12. Samba Boyz 15
13. Hesketh Racing 12
-- Karma Racing 12
-- Team Phishheads 12
14. Firestorm Racing 11
-- Last Minute Racing 11
-- Team Hertford 11
15. DBR Racing 6
-- Mon-Toyota Racing 6
--- Team G Strings and Tassles 6
16. Team of Audacious Brazilians 5
17. Fry Cook Motorsports 3
--- Team Tanalized Timber 3
18. Pineapple Racing -6

First Car out: Tony Kanaan
Wooden Spoon Award: Pineapple Racing, for losing both cars and one of them being the first car out.

Announced attendance: Friday 50,000; Saturday 80,000; Sunday 100,000.
Commercial Breaks on Fox Sports: 76, or one every 2.3 minutes!

=======================

STANDINGS TO DATE

1. Team GoFaster 68
-- Crooks Motorsport 68
2. Mud Hut Racing 66
3. ILP Racing 63
-- Crusta Racing 63
4. Team Aggression Maximisation 62
5. EMS Racing 59
-- Team Vince 59
6. Samba Boyz 57
7. Team Domaza 55
-- Seven Grain Motorsports 55
8. Mon-Toyota Racing 47
-- Team G Strings and Tassles 47
-- Omar's Doomed Warriors 47
-- Maple City Racing 47
9. Madcow Racing 45
-- Senna12 Racing 45
-- Team Wrex 45
10. Firestorm Racing 43
--- Last Minute Racing 43
--- Team Hertford 43
--- EuroJADS Racing 43
--- Team BAM Sports 43
--- Team Bastrad Fast 43
11. PaulWontCrash 35
--- Team Hustler Magazine 35
12. Team of Audacious Brazilians 32
--- Karma Racing 32
--- Revcounter Racing 32
13. Hesketh Racing 28
14. Team Phishheads 22
15. Team Tanalized Timber 21
--- Dawn Racing 21
16. Fry Cook Racing 5
17. Pineapple Racing -2

Spreadsheets available upon request.

Thank you for racing with 10-Tenths Motorsport.

[f1manoz]

DBR TEAM INT.
PRESS RELEASE
15/04/02

WE STINK IT UP!!

Yes folks, DBR Team Int. had an absolute shocker at Long Beach on Sunday. While results on the track weren't great, at least off the track Laetitia Casta made her first appearance as official pit babe for the team, turning many a males head.

Cristiano da Matta was looking good for a second win of the season, until a kerfuffle in the pits, when he collided with Adrian Fernandez, dropped him down the order to 16th place. However, Cristiano, determined as ever, charged through the field and he eventually finished 8th. Good new though is that Cristiano still remains the points leader after two rounds.

Patrick Carpentier never got over his shocking qualifying, and posted an early retirement with gearbox failure. This was compounded by the fact that his traction control had failed on the warm-up lap, and had worked only intermittently throughout the race. A tough weekend for the Canadian but it can only get better.

Oriol Servia was lookning good for a strong seventh place finish with only a few laps remaining, but unfortunately mechanical failure also sidelined the talented Catalonian. It is thought that turbo problems are what caused his retirement, but Honda and DBR Team members are investigating.

Overall, the weekend was mostly a disappointment for DBR Team International Racing, but we look to improve our scorecard at the next race at Hondas home, Motegi in Japan.

Sumjurc Ramdmicar
Press Officer

(PS - Liz, my team appears to be missing from the final standings. Just wondering what I was on. Thanks)

[GoFaster]

Team GoFaster is happy to report that with the early success, two new sponsers have been signed.Hedley beer coolers has agreed to a 1 year deal with the team.Also,M&M's have signed on as a secondary sponser for the remainder of the season.
Team GoFaster is a US based effort with headquarters located near Mid-Ohio.

[elephino]

Hesketh Racing Press Release

Well...um...not much to say about this one.

The team has decided to go out and celebrate the team owners birthday instead.

[StuiE]

Crooks Motorsport sort of release


Stu is HAPPY! after a MAJOR drop in Qualifying results, somehow we won the round.

I have no idea what the race results are, and dont really want to know ATM cos the race is on TV in 3 1/2 hours. No more comments.

Alain Menu
Press Officer

[StuiE]

O yeah, and the full relaese will be ready 4 tomorrow

[Liz]

Sorry, DBR, you have 47 total points to date which makes you tied for 8th spot.

=================

PRESS RELEASE

Team Mrs. Fields Pies Crayola Audacious Brazilians have nothing to say because they are all hiding under their beds crying their little eyes out.

Well, two of them are. Cristiano has been locked in his room for his own protection and our lawyer's peace of mind until he stops saying those things about Fernandez and everyone who works for him.

We await Motegi with the hope that our success there will erase the memory of what might have been at Long Beach.

Pedro "El Guapo" Morales
Demoralized Team Morale Officer

"We ate all the pies!"

[macdaddy]

Maple City Racing is happy enough that their two primary drivers finished in the top-10. (Albeit 9th and 10th). Dario made up 7 spots, Adrian lost 3, but at least they both finished. Actually, a team secret which is being kept from Adrian is that we were kinda hoping for him to drop out, so that we could reap the benefits of Vasser's fine finish. But he didn't, so we didn't. But that's okay, because we still expect them to finish 1-2 in the final championship standings!

During the 13-day break before Japan, the team is undertaking a serious testing program. The bulk of this testing will be done at the Tecate hospitality room.

[paulzinho]

****SAMBA BOYZ PRESS RELEASE****

Hey we don't know how our boys did, we no see the race. $&^$ing Eurosport. We just wanna party, we got 2 great pit babes who are struttin their stuff with Mr Paulzino, everyone invited to the party as long as they come with a babe! Anyway looking at our points, we sucked people only 15!!!! Still 6th overall which is satisfactory, plenty of time to party though!!!!

[Speedworx]

FIRESTORM RACING PRESS RELEASE:

Both of our drivers struggled for grip all weekend and it why the team had a bad result.

[tanalised]

TEAM TANALISED TIMBER PRESS RELEASE

a terrible race for Dixon & Carpentier, TTT are at a loss for words

[GoFaster]

Long Beach, Calif., April 15

Michael Andretti had the celebration of his 42nd career CART victory tempered somewhat on Monday when he and his Team GoFaster squad was fined $20,000 after his car failed technical inspection.

The Team GoFaster car did not meet the minimum height requirement in post-race inspection, failing CART’s ‘two-inch’ rule for the height of the underbody of the car.

In accordance with CART rule 10.2.1, the penalty was assessed by CART Director of Technology and Competition Lee Dykstra with the concurrence of the CART stewards.

Andretti’s GoFaster team was fined $20,000 but the win will stand. The team and driver will also get to keep all championship points earned in the win.

[mac]

PINEAPPLE RACING HAVE THE ****S!!!

The Grand Prix of Long Beach did not turn out particularly well for Pineapple Racing. In fact, it sucked!

After qualifying strongly in 6th position, and running in 5th place during the race, Tony Kanaan was the first to retire when his car lost drive on the main straight.

"This car is a piece of ****!" stated the likeable Brazilian.

Kanaan also fired a salvo at the organisers of the Long Beach Grand Prix.

"This place is ridiculous. It is quite clear that the gaps where you crawl through the fence are not big enough. When you've got a snoz as big as the mutha on the front of my melon, you can't seriously be expected to get through those gaps without severe injury. I've got 17 stitches in my nose because of those inconsiderate idiots who run this show."

Oriol Servia started the race in 13th position and drove a strong and promising race, to be in 7th place in the later stages of the race. Unfortunately, his engine blew up towards the end of the race, leaving it a smoking wreck.

"This car is a piece of ****!" said the cool Spaniard. "The car actually goes alright. But it hardly ever goes so it doesn't matter."

Pineapple Racing would like to add that Long Beach, California is a **** town. However, they would like to deny that they were responsible for the 700 kilos of explosives found at the back of the Long Beach paddock.

After a disastrous weekend, Pineapple Racing leave California owing the organisers of the championship 2 points.

Pineapple will move on to Motegi and hope that both of its drivers turn up.

P. Dribbler
Chief Media Liason Officer
PINEAPPLE RACING

[StuiE]

The Full Crooks Motorsport Press release


Stu is very happy about the Weekend's results With 1st, 5th and 6th

Every one is happy, and going into Tora's Home Track at Motegi. Where a team building event will take place.....going Drifting, in the team's S15 Silvia through the industrial estates of Osaka, and Rokko MOuntain - how is it team building? well its just fun and gets up the team's morale ( as if we needed it after Longbeach's results)


Now that we are (equal) leading the championship, I rekon I just won some bragging rights. CROOKS MOTORSPORT RULE!!!! WE ARE THE BEST !!! sorry it had to be done



thats it for now, we look forward to thrashing the rest of you at the next round

Alain Menu
Press Officer

[pink69]

ILP Racing Press Release

We were very unlucky this weekend. Dario struggled all weekend with set up problems and a great driver got him a top 10 finish. Da matta's accident is one of those things, I don't blame him or Fernandez this just happens from time to time. I feel Da matta could have won the race had this not have happened.

[Arneal]

Andretti wins on track, loses in court

Tierra Amarilla, NM - After winning the Long Beach Gran Prix for Mud Hut Racing Micheal Andretti was handed a disappointing verdict at the Rio Arriba County Courthouse here today. Andretti's suit contended that Mud Hut was a rinky dink, second rate operation unable to provide the former champion with a legitimate shot at winning the championship. Presiding Judge Lawrence Murphy ruled against the racer explaining his decision in part, "There have been two races this year. Mud Hut has finsihed first in the one and second in the other. That is not rinky dink! I am going to be frank with you Mr. Andretti. I think your argument is stupid, I think you are stupid, and I think your lawyer is stupid."

Mud Hut Racing lead attorney Henry McCarty was surprised the Pennsylvanian appeared in court. "The reason I had moved for a change of venue from Santa Fe to Tierra Amarilla is because I didn't think a New Yorker could find this place", exclaimed the overjoyed former cattle thief, "Our entire case was based on Micheal not showing up. When I drove into town and saw that rental limo I knew we were in trouble. I had to rewrite my arguements on the fly."

Andretti attorney Yossi Schwartz lamented "I knew we were in trouble when the Judge entered the court, sat down, looked at the defendants attorney and said, "How are my daughter and grandchildren?" It was going to be a difficult case anyway, Micheal shouldn't have won that race in California, it made our position untenable. Fortunately this is not a contingency fee case so I get paid even though we lost."

Had Andretti bolted from the Mud Hut rumors had placed swede Kenny Brack in the seat due mainly to Mr. Bracks unabashed enthusiasm for the project. Kenny told the Quemado Telegraph & Plain Dealer that he "very much would like to race for Mud Hut. I have always been hot for Ashley Judd and I know I could get her away from that Scottish twit if only I could spend some time with her. Being on the same team would be an ideal opportunity. I am much more handsome than he is and I play guiter good, Ashley would have to love me. If Dario gets lonely he can have my woman, I am tired of her."

Despite his desire, Kenny was never considered for the spot. According to Team Principal Arneal Naylund, "Australia won more golds at the winter olympics than Sweden! My understanding is that they don't even have winter in Australia. When do they practice? A scandinavian country that gets beat in the winter olympics by Australia doesn't deserve to be a country. One of their neighbors should take over and run the place properly. The swedes have shown they can't do the job themselves, it is time to let someone else try."

When contacted for this article Kenny Brack claimed to have lost interest in the starlet after seeing the movie Someone Like You... He then added, "Unless someone at Mud Hut is dating Kirsten Dunst I have no interest in driving for them."

[touringlegend]

TEAM BAM SPORTS

PRESS RELEASE

Hello folks, how did the race go? I never saw it, TV companies !! Ah well...
We scored OK, 10th is quite a suprise for me, what with how amateuer our team is. great !

[gomick]

REVCOUNTER RACING : would be great if drivers vasser and dixon could both finish the same race..... nuf said !